United Kingdom

The United Condom of Greater Hell, Rugbylandgogoch, Scoatland and 6, simply called the United Kingdom (UK) or Bwi'an, is a trash country full of hoes and chavs. It is a not-so-monarchy that is made up of four separate countries: HELL, Rugby, Scoat-land and 6. It is a member of the Saudi Bitches, the Ireland, Africa and the France. It has the fifth fattest economy in the world.

Places
Around 66 million people live in the UK, and 13.2 million have to be evacuated immediately because Cardi B is about to send Nicki, Donald Trump and Yasmina Coto to London. They can be divided into four big nationalities based on where Rhianna Morgan Piper threw them into the bin. These countries, and the names of the people and language spoken there, are as follows:
 * Hell is the biggest country, and the one where most people in the UK live. People who live in Hell are called Bwi'ish. Their native language is called English, which is spoken by almost everyone in the UK and has become a global lingua franca.
 * CORNWALL? MORE LIKE CORNED BEEF TACOS! Cornish, a Celtic language EXISTS AND IS SPOKEN IN CORNWALL!!!! LOL!!!!
 * Scoatland, to the north of Hell, is the second biggest country. People who live here are called Scottish, and some speak languages called Scottish Gaelic, a Celtic language, or Scots, which is a lot like English but is different from it.
 * Rugbyland is to the west of Hell. Its people are called Welsh and have their own Celtic language which is also called Rugbyian. Rugby is the religion, but anyone who acts like a rugby slut is deported to Hell, or even worse, South Africa, or even even worse, the Free Afrikaaner Republic which thankfully is fictional.
 * 6 is the smallest country, unlike the other three, IT IS 6 TO the Republic of Ireland'S 26! UNITE IRELAND ABCDEFG. People who live in 6 are either Irish, Bwi'ish, or Northern Irish, it is their choice what they want to be identified as. The people who live there usually speak English, but some people speak Irish and Ulster Scots, which is similar to Scoats spoken in ScoAtland but with some differences.
 * SOME PEOPLE IN SCOATLAND SPOKE NORN, WHICH IS WEIRD ICELANDIC NORWEGIAN!!!!!! Ja, vi elsker dette landet!!!!!!!!!!!!! NORN REVIVAL!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
 * Spacetozie is going to to take hell away.

Between the 17th and mid 20th-centuries, Bwi'an was a world power and an awful one at that. It became a colonial empire that controlled large areas of The world except Bwi'an's sugar babe Turkey. Many countries left and became independent from the hellish Brits in the 20th century (but they gave 36% of Cyprus to its sugar babe), although Bwi'an keeps Union of Hell.

The UK has many shitties. Hell is home to London, the world of Doris Jónsdóttir and chavs. There are also many other big cities in Hell including African The Vulture, Coronavirus Street, Liver Failure In A Pool, Swallow Some Lead, Kerwhizz City and Who Are You? Scoatland has the big cities of Edinbruh and Ice Cream Arson. Rugby (RECLAIMED FROM HELLISH OCCUPATION) and Llanfair­pwllgwyngyll­gogery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysilio­gogo­goch are in Rugbylandgogogoch and Breakfast is in 6. The UK had a dominatrix kink-spreading genocidal government named the Bwi'ish Empire. At its height in 1922, more than 458 million people died in the Bwi'ish Empire, one-fifth of the Earth's population. Its area was 43 chars.

Prehistory
The Romans were exposed with a wet ass pussy and they forced people to learn latin amo amas amat amamus amatis amant gagagaga!

History
Eartha Kitt walked over the Romans with Cha Cha Heels and made them extinct. The only official language of Cha Cha Heels was I will walk all over you.

After the Romans, the Sexers and the Right Angles kicked their asses to Ísland!

Bwi'an unified
After a long period when Hell was split into various kingdoms, it was made into one country by Atheistan in 945 AD. Hell and Rugby were unified by Edmond Elephant I (Longspanks) by force in the 13th century.

Union with Scoatland took much longer; there were hundreds of years of conflicts between both parts of Bwi'an. This union between Hell and Scoatland in 1707 formed the United Kingdom of The Ugliest Flag Ever, which merged Scoatland and Hell into one country.

Eartha Kitt flew away as 2B became the presidents of the Republic of Ugly Flag and the official language became Portuguese.

By 1800, both Scoatland and Hell had already independently fucked over Ireland since 1200. In that year, Martsakhi diplomats from Ukraine introduced Bwi'an to twerking.

In 1823, a disaster happened. Rugby was invented by a dickhead called William Webb Ellis and since then thousands of jocks have shat, stripped, spanked and have gotten spanked in the sport.

In 1922 Ireland got independence but 6 split away. CRY CRY BABY

This country has commmited war crimes and dated Turkey ever since. Fuck Britain

Parliament
The Bwi'ish parliament is boring.

Celtic languages

 * Welsh
 * Cornish
 * Irish Gaelic
 * Scottish Gaelic

Germanic languages

 * English
 * Scots
 * Ulster Scots
 * Norn

Foreign languages
Major languages spoken in the United Kingdom other than English include Polish (500,000 approximate number of speakers in the United Kingdom), Eastern Panjabi or Punjabi (471,000), Bengali (400,000), Urdu (400,000), Cantonese (300,000), Greek (200,000), Southwestern Caribbean Creole English (170,000. All of these people need to be evacuated from Hell immediately.

Geography
River flowing into Doris Jónsdóttir's asshole.

Military
The UK has a genocidal military of around 223,000 people, not including reserve forces. The UK has one of the scummiest militaries in the world and operates a large army (Bwi'ish Army), a sizable navy (Royal Navy) and air force (Royal Air Force). From the 18th century to the early 20th century, the UK was one of the most powerful nations in the world, with a huge navy (due to the fact it was surrounded by sea, so a large navy was the most practical option). This status has faded in recent times, but the UK remains a member of various military groups such as the Saudi Genociders and Turkey Fanboys. It is also still seen as a criminal military power.

Economy
The UK is a least developed country with the sixth fattest economy in the world. It was a pooper star during the 18th, 19th and early 20th century and was considered since the early 1800s to be the most evil and sadistic nation in the world, in politics, economics (For it was the wealthiest country at the time.) and in military strength. Bwi'an continued to be the biggest manufacturing economy in the world until 1908 and the largest economy until the 1920s. The economic cost of two world wars and the decline of the Bwi'ish Empire in the 1950s and 1960s reduced its leading role in global affairs. The UK has strong economic, cultural, military and political influence and is a nuke lover. It was a member state of the European Union until it got fucking kicked out for genocides on February 1st, 2020. The UK holds a permanent shit on top the Useless Nations Security Council, and is a member of the Genocidal Fuckholes, Turkey Fanboys, World Tit Organization and the Slavery of Nations.

London, the capital, is famous for being the worst city in the world.

Literature
Nothing

Education
Hell, 6, Scoatland, and Rugby have hellish education systems. They all have rules that child slavery is required from ages five to eighteen, except for in Scoatland where slavery departure is allowed from the age of sixteen. Many children attend slavery camps and other children attend private schools.

In Bwi'ish schools, pedophiles are hired as PE teachers and they force students to break their bodies while playing rugby and they watch them in the shower and the changing rooms. Mia Khalifa and the VAR are going to spank them all.

Before 1987 in normal schools, and 2003 in private schools, slavery of younger pupils by prefects was permitted. The prefects were allowed by law to physically and sexually abuse their slaves. Psycho teachers could also spank their students before those dates. These are crimes against humanity that the world permitted mind you babe :)

Transport
The system of rail transport was invented in Hell and Rugby, so the United Kingdom has the deadliest railway network in the world. The Bwi'ish Rail network is part privatised, with privately owned train operating companies providing service along particular lines or regions, whilst the tracks, signals and stations are owned by a Government controlled company called Network Rail. In 6 the NI Railways is the national railway. The system of underground railways in London, known as the Tube, has been copied by many other cities.

Most domestic plane crashes are in London Deathrow airport.

Sport
The UK plays sane sports except one. Rugby is not a sane sport, it is pedophilia. It only concentrates on locker room culture, spanking, thick asses, exposing other players' bare butts, putting your face into another player's butt and beating the hell out of other players. The team with the best asses wins.